Several weeks later, and the radio phone-ins were awash with the Pink Stinks campaign, railing against the flood of stereotypically pink and sparkly toys and clothes and the lack of alternatives for girls.  As a mum of boys, I had to agree that whenever I stray from our usual aisle in a toy or children’s clothing store, the girls’ section is always a bit of an assault on the eyes.

But were we missing something here?  We have all (hopefully) learnt that the sexes are equal and should be treated as such, but perhaps we have begun to confuse equal, with identical.  Perhaps the reason retailers stuff their racks and shelves with fairy outfits, sparkly pink boas and irridescent purple ponies is that this is what sells best.  On the whole small girls prefer pink, sparkles, feathers and fur.  Small boys on the other hand are drawn to primary colours, cowboys, vehicles and construction toys.

Were we also too quick to dismiss our politically incorrect delegate?

With this question still forming in my head, I was introduced to a book by Allan & Barbara Pease called “Why men don’t listen and Women can’t read maps”.  I was immediately fascinated.  The book examines the differences between men and women (or, more accurately, between male and female brains), why those differences have arisen and how to understand each other better, and so communicate and get along better.

For instance, the reason my husband can never find the keys, even though they are exactly where I said they were, is that our eyesight has evolved differently.  His is more highly developed for long distance vision over a narrower field, to aid precision targeting over long distances during a hunt, whereas mine, that of the cave defender, needed a wider field of vision to scan the horizon for approaching threats.  When he looks over the kitchen table he sees a series of focused points and if his gaze doesn’t happen to alight on the car keys, he’s had it.

If we’re honest we all know that, generally speaking, men and women are different.  Of course there is a whole spectrum of different personalities between the two most typical brain types and we all conform to those types to a greater or lesser degree, but it strikes me that we are only doing ourselves damage if we ignore those inherent differences and expect everyone to behave and respond to us in the same way.  As a mother of boys, it has helped me to know that their seemingly selective deafness may be due to the way in which their senses have developed over millennia, rather than a deliberate plot to irritate me.  Now if I want to be certain that they’ve heard me, I make sure I am looking them in the eye and I don’t even attempt to speak to them while they’re reading.

Equally, it may help my husband to know that my female ancestors’ verbal abilities (and therefore my need to talk) developed to ensure good coalition amongst the group of females and youngsters back at the settlement, where survival and success depended on co-operation and communication.  So when I’m vocalising my thoughts, I’m often not looking for a solution to any problem, just getting it off my chest and using up my daily allocation of words.

So perhaps this should be taught in schools, since understanding why we each do the infuriating things most typical of our sex could lead to better working relationships, longer marriages and generally more harmony with our fellow man, or woman!

Apparently men really are almost deaf when reading or watching television, and they do have better night vision, and there are good evolutionary reasons why they can’t find the keys on the kitchen table where you said they were, and women do need to spout three times as many words a day as men, and we do think out loud, and have poorer spacial awareness, and ask you questions we don’t want to know the answers to.  But, when you understand the roles we evolved to fulfil it’s much easier to understand the usefullness of those traits and why we all have them.

With this in mind, perhaps we should also have been less hasty in our answer at the conference.  Perhaps the reality is that in many ways a female orientated brain would be well suited to the type of role we were discussing, with its superior verbal and written communication skills and superior listening abilities  However, since the conversation is only one part of the role, and since all our brains fall somewhere along a continuum of gender types, an equal opportunity ought to be given to all.  As a wider lesson, perhaps we should stop worrying that the vast majority of pilots and surveyors are men and the vast majority of nurses and counsellors are women and concentrate instead on making sure that, where a man or woman wants to step outside their gender stereotype, we make the way open for them.

I fully expected to feel horribly out-of-place, and as the day of the event drew near, I hurriedly banged out a few Facebook updates and several inane tweets (now my trademark).

I feared that I wouldn’t understand what everyone was talking about, I mused on what I would say if asked…

“What are YOU doing here?”

My fears were misplaced.  I hadn’t even made it through the doors before I’d met several fellow attendees who, notwithstanding my obvious lack of experience, were open, welcoming and helpful.

Photograph by kind permission of Laura Whitehead

The main theme was measuring the return on investment from social media strategies within organisations.  Olivier Blanchard delivered a really practical and pragmatic presentation focusing on this issue.  He pointed out that social media is not free as a successful strategy requires investment in terms of skilled people, time and energy.  So, as a champion for Social Media within your organisation you will need to be able to demonstrate its value to those who hold the purse strings.

Those individuals may be far removed from the customers, so soft talk about building relationships may not be enough.  Instead, a way must be found to measure the benefits to the business.

Whilst existing management information ought to be capable of identifying increases in revenue without difficulty, establishing a causal link between your new social media strategy and any such change in financial performance is far more complex.  We were reminded that it is easy at first to be impressed by your level of followers or the amount of traffic to your site, but unless that increased traffic is being translated into increased purchases, those at the top will soon become disillusioned.  It was therefore suggested that we consider the process in terms of a continuum: beginning with investment, moving through, action and reaction, through non-financial impact and finally reaching financial impact.  It is all too tempting to measure only the reaction and the non-financial impacts (i.e. the nature of the comments received and the number of hits/followers) because these are easy to assess.  However, to justify continued investment, businesses need to at least make a stab at measuring the financial impacts: reviewing financial performance before and after the strategy gets underway and comparing previous financial periods to adjust for seasonality and other factors that may distort the results.  Some of this is pure detective work, but coupled with good record keeping, regarding the contacts made through social media and their purchasing patterns, a good picture can be formed, sufficient to enable you to argue for your next budget allocation!

Once that initial step has been taken it would also be helpful to build case studies to demonstrate the value of social media within the business or organisation.  In the early days, these real events can often prove more persuasive than a set of disembodied figures.

There were several other great speakers, whom space will not permit me to cover in the same detail, and some great insights into forming a social media strategy and managing that strategy on an ongoing basis.  Here are some of my favourite nuggets from the event:

• When setting out your strategy, describe your company as if it were a living, breathing individual with a personality and values.  Social Media is essentially about human interaction so it’s got to be personal.
• Elect a “conversationalist” for your business to deal with the day-to-day work of keeping your social media outlets updated, but make sure everyone involved in communication and IT is on board.  Involve that conversationalist in high level meetings to ensure that (a) they are fully appraised of the direction the business is taking and (b) that the personality of the business is reflected in their posts and updates.
• Think of your Social Media activities as a way to move potential customers along the spectrum from complete strangers to loyal customers (and even advocates for your business) by building trust and personal connections.
• Don’t use Social Media for direct selling, you’ll just irritate and alienate people.  Think instead about building a community around your brand – the metaphor of a camp fire was used by one panelist, conjuring up the image of a warm and inviting place, which draws people in.
• As with most new strategies, it’s probably a good idea to take small steps and dip your toe, so to speak, in the Social Media waters.  Limiting your efforts to one or two sites or media will make it easier to keep up and to keep track of the effect the strategy is having.
• Agree within your business, the parameters for your conversationalist:  how many times a day should they tweet, how often should they publish a new blog post?
• Keep it fresh and think from time to time “Am I being boring – do I need to shake it up a bit and try something new?”

All useful stuff, but my favorite was this prediction of the way the UK’s business landscape is developing.  Apparently…

“Small is the new black”

I’m glad about that – at 5’1″ I’m bound to be in demand in the new economy.

These valuable insights were only slightly overshadowed by one of the panelists sporting a kilt.  I think the delegates remained remarkably focused in the circumstances.

Details of the other great contributors to the Like Minds event, which was held in Exeter on 16th October 2009 can be found by going to the Like Minds website.  Happily a further event is to take place in February 2010.  See you there.

OK, I’ll stop being facetious, but why are people so paralyzed by the fear of change? I’ve been closely involved with many projects within the firms I’ve worked for over the years: reorganisations, new IT systems, office moves, re-branding.  The common theme they share is this: they cost, both in time and money.  Those who instigate the changes have almost always spent months planning for them, spending their profits and efforts in the process, yet the reaction (at least from some) is often to dismiss the idea and to resist the management at every turn.  The negative responses broadly fall into three categories:

1.  “It’ll never work” – This ignores the fact that in most cases the changes in question have already been successfully undertaken in other businesses long before.  A variation on this theme is ”it’ll never work here”, but rarely are the circumstances or the business so unusual as to prevent an otherwise standard industry method from working in this particular organisation or locality.

2. “We’ve always done it like this” – Often this is the reason why change on a grand scale is required: because the business in question has failed to keep up with market trends. This argument is also rarely accompanied by any insight into why the longevity of a particular procedure alone might recommend it for future use.

3.  “If the business needs to improve cashflow why are we spending all this time and money?” – Because the management want to still be here in ten years time, not just hobble through the current difficulties.  Of course there’s a balance to be struck here, but it seems to me that the worst thing to do in straightened financial times is to stand still – your competition surely won’t.

The people who express these misgivings are surprising too.  They are sometimes the stalwarts of the business who have been there for years, but more often they are the less experienced members of staff who you might expect to have an interest in the development and future success of the business.

They are also almost never the people who are happy in their jobs.  I could understand their concerns better if they were skipping into work each day delighted with everything the place has to offer, but the opposite is often true.  Those who seem to fear the changes most are also those who seem to have most to gain i.e. those who have been critical of the management and might therefore welcome organisational changes.

So how do you avoid the whole process being derailed by the misgivings of a few?  Well, I could go on for much longer than you would want to listen I’m sure, but here are five basic ideas to bear in mind as a starting point:

1.  COMMUNICATION: I’ve been very unkind to the office Luddite, but actually, once you understand the reasons behind their resistance, the objections can often be overcome.  Take the trouble to involve the whole business in the early stages to give the idea time to bed down.  People are often more resistant and negative if they feel they are being rushed into things, or if they are left with the impression that a plan hasn’t been thought through.  Make sure people can see and appreciate the lengthy process you’ve been through.  If several options are being examined, consider involving a group of potential resisters in the decision-making process.

2.   RESEARCH and PLANNING:  Make sure you really understand why the business is taking these steps – you will be challenged on this, so be sure that you are prepared and put yourself in the shoes of those who might object.  Arrange for a colleague to ask some awkward questions while you run through your presentation.  If you weren’t involved in the early stages yourself, make sure you read the notes of the first meetings and ask questions, so that you have the history of the decision-making process at your fingertips.

3.  MANAGE EXPECTATIONS: Be careful not to oversell the benefits of the change.  You will only store up problems and resentment for  later and damage your own credibility, making future changes even more difficult to implement.

4.  FACE UP TO THE CONCERNS:  If you are very confident of your position, the best approach may be to confront those who express doubts in an open meeting.  If you spot raised eyebrows or hear whispered grumbles, ask what the individual’s concerns are so that you can try to reassure them.  Avoid the sarcastic approach (my tone is for comic effect, not managerial success!).   If you are less sure of your ground, or if you are delivering the message for others, a better approach would be to suggest a one to one discussion after the session and note down the specific concerns so that you can come back later with detailed responses.  These responses must then be communicated to all those affected.

5.  INFRASTRUCTURE:  Make sure the equipment and infrastructure is in place to support your plan before you embark on any internal sales pitch or training and avoid the sort of crisis management that can lead to implementing multiple changes all at once.   Most people, even those oddballs amongst us who thrive on change, have a threshold beyond which it’s all just too much to take in!

Almost all such major changes take time to settle in so be patient and try not to force the issue.  If incremental changes can be made to ease the pain, so much the better.  Above all, don’t be afraid to pull back temporarily if the consultation process reveals issues that you hadn’t considered, otherwise, what’s the point of consulting?  You may even be spared a costly mistake!

I’m a lawyer by profession so I’m not meant to understand technology and my techi brother is finding it hard to come to terms with the idea that his decidedly un-cool big sister is tweeting for Britain.  My husband says he’s a twitter-widow and looks forlorn every time I draw my IPhone from my back pocket.  Colleagues look at me sideways when I mention the latest twitter trend or talk about my “tweeple”.

I enjoy a facebook frenzy every few weeks, but rarely get the chance to sit at the computer long enough to really commit to the full package.  I have yet to manage even the most basic photo album.  I have a home PC as old as the hills crammed into a corner under the stairs and, if it hadn’t been for the firm I work for, I would still be using a “Pay As You Go” Nokia brick.

So why do I find it so attractive?  Given that in every other respect I am properly analogue, why is twitter drawing me inextricably to it?

The official answer is relationships, the ability to start and join a conversation with just a few short tweets and to enjoy a common thought, opinion or concern.  The chance to converse with, or at least, hear from and about, people I would never otherwise meet, from a world which I will probably never fully be a part of.

All of that is true, but the honest answer is my own pathetic need for validation.  The occasional virtual thumbs up from a stranger:  ”don’t worry, whoever you are, I burnt the dinner tonight too”. The reassurance that others are shocked and frightened by the same political trends and headlines that trouble me:  ”it can’t be true” they cry.  And in my tiny, suburban and slightly parochial world, the suggestion that I might one day qualify as an early adopter.

Before the effects of the honesty pills wear off, I can also admit to having discovered (as a result of my foray into the twitterverse) that I quite like being seen as “other”, just for a moment.  As one who has conformed in every way to the stereotype of my class, background and profession, it is really something to occasionally surprise people and so I’ve decided to do one thing each week that I wouldn’t normally do.  This week, purple tights… and using “And” at the start of a sentence, which my English teacher would have hated – you see, I am a proper rebel now.

In fact it was the offer of free accommodation that led us here, and although it may seem an odd choice, the spiritual home of self-sufficiency turned out to be a fantastic base.  The location made sightseeing pretty effortless and our first outing, a trip to Hampton Court, was a great success.  We would recommend reading “Paddington and the Marmalade Maze” beforehand to keep little ones engaged.

Online vouchers made other attractions (HMS Belfast, the Royal Observatory and a City Cruise) affordable and we have Tesco Clubcard vouchers to thank for our meal at Planet Hollywood (which is unfortunately less kitsch since it moved to the Haymarket, but that’s progress for you).

The more astute reader will have noted our love of a bargain.  It hasn’t always served us well, leading on one memorable occasion to a long and none too scenic walk along the Canning Town flyover, trailing two small boys and two large suitcases, but that’s another story.  We have since learnt our lesson and we do now occasionally splash out, so, on this trip, we did indulge in tickets for the London Eye.  Our youngest adored it, insisting on leaning alarmingly on the glass, and it gave me a welcome half an hour’s sit down.  The budget alternative, if your legs can stand it, is the Monument, which has been the visit most talked about since our return.  Of course, the longevity of that topic may be to do with the apparent comedic effects of my vertigo.

We also spent an enjoyable day on foot, taking in Buckingham Palace then strolling through St James’ Park.  Emerging onto Horseguards Parade, we trooped through Admiralty Arch to Nelson’s column and the National Gallery.  As infrequent visitors to London, we appreciated the ease with which we were able to reach so many great landmarks on foot, but we were struck most by the improvements to public transport.  Those who work or live in London may disagree, but speaking as a tourist, I found the system reliable, clean and easy to navigate.

One word of warning: the emergency alarms on Jubilee Line trains are well within the reach of a three year old.  Looking on the bright side, I can vouch for the effectiveness of the braking system and, although they didn’t show it, I am sure that the commuters on our train valued the impromptu safety check.

24 hours later, as we boarded another train (with some trepidation), said three year old quavered “Am I going to prison Mummy?”.  I think the residents of our great capital are safe from this little threat for a while.

]]> http://cucumberwriter.wordpress.com/2009/08/19/the-good-life/feed/ 0 cucumberwriter